12/1: PARENTS, THIS ONE IS FOR YOU
A couple months ago, one of our students asked me where I come up with the ideas I have for this weekly message. Normally, something happens during the week that just makes a good story. This week, my parents came out from PA for Thanksgiving and it really reminded me how much I enjoyed my Ohio State Buckeyes beating TTUN. Now, you may not think those things have anything to do with each other, and you would be correct. I just really enjoyed the game on Saturday. So where was I? Oh yes..............
About 5 years ago, my 4 siblings and I were talking about how much we like OSU beating UM......no no no, sorry.... we were talking about how we each felt like our parents attended more of our individual sporting events than that of our siblings. For all of us to feel that way, it really put things into perspective about how much of a priority our parents made it to be at as many of our events as possible. I told that to my father about 2 years ago and it made a bigger impression on him than I imagined. I think it meant more to him than just about anything I've ever told him. What is just as impressive in all of that time he gave to us, he still found time to pursue his dreams and desires. He loved restoring cars, and over the span of about 20 years raising us, he restored a Model A, two different 32 Ford's, a 39 Ford convertible, a Ford Woody, built a kit Cobra, and helped my 3 brothers all restore a Camaro. I imagine as I look back on all that, I could probably ask the same question I get sometimes: "How do you fit all that into your life?" My answer is always the same: "I just do". It may seem a little cheeky to answer like that, but it's the truth. When you set goals, you just find ways to get the work done.
I know that most of the parents that bring their kids to the gym have multiple kids doing multiple activities. We were there with our 2 kids as well. Now, our schedule was even more complicated as I was running the business at night as well which put most of the transportation duties on my wife. But, we made it work for us. I remember I made a very big mistake early in this journey by skipping one of my daughters gymnastics meets to help our students prep for a belt test. I missed my daughter getting her first, first place medal at a meet and it ripped a hole in my heart. I vowed at that moment that I would never make that mistake again....and I didn't. I also told the rest of the gym parents that I was I was going to be coaching every single match that my son was in until he got his first victory (it took 13 tries). But after competing for over a year before getting a win, I was NOT going to miss his first win.
I'm very glad to see parents giving so much time to their kids. We all know parents that don't do that. However, it is my very strong opinion that parents must also leave time to chase their own goals and dreams. We should never just become shuttle drivers for our kids, expecting to give up everything for them. Our kids need to know that while they are a huge priority in our lives, they are not the ONLY priority. Sometimes they need to take a back seat. Sometimes they may miss an event for one of ours..... even if it is a date night. It let's kids understand that being part of a family means everyone will have to sacrifice what they want at some point. I think this is generally more understood with the more siblings there are.
One of the things I read years ago about family life is that kids find it more important to know that their parents have a great relationship than believing they are the top priority. I read that the first person a husband or wife should greet when they come in the door is their spouse, not their kids. It sends the message that the marriage relationship is the most important relationship in the house. I agree. I'm not telling you what you should do in your own household, but for us, it will always be to celebrate an OSU win over TTUN, regardless of what state we live in.
