11/24: DO YOU KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL?
This past week during the adult belt test, I was almost choked out by one of our 14 year old girls. I was letting her work from back mount and she sank in a bow and arrow choke. Even having a hand in my collar, I almost had to tap. While some instructors would try to hide that fact, these are the things we need to celebrate. To experience how powerful her technique was on a guy who almost never taps to chokes, it let me know that she is developing into an awesome practitioner. But beyond that, she is developing the ability to protect herself, which we want from every student, especially our female students. None of this surprises me, because when she first joined over a year ago, both coach Andriy and I saw her potential. But sometimes it takes others to convince people of their own potential. I know that first hand.
Back in 2001 I was a VP for the Farmingon Jaycees. I was being encouraged to run for President in 2002, but seriously doubted my ability. The chapter was a mess and morale was low. Everyone around me who I trusted kept telling me that I had all of the attributes to be a successful President. With their encouragement, I took the position and during the 4th quarter of the year we were recognized as the top chapter in the state, consisting of about 100 chapters at that time. I honestly did not think I had that potential and am so glad I listened to those that could see past my doubts for me. Once I understood the qualities that it took to be a good leader, it was very easy to see that in others. But it took going through those tribulations to know. After that, I was able to see the exact same talent in other people when they doubted themselves just like I did.
When new people come into the gym, it is very obvious to me now who has a natural gift for what we do. It doesn't mean that they will fulfill the potential that we see, as hard work is still required. It also doesn't mean if you don't have the initial "it" factor that you won't surpass those that seem to have it. Where this becomes important to me is when I see people that don't have the confidence yet to believe in themselves when they have all of the skill to have that confidence. If myself, or any of our coaches tell you that you have a gift for what we do: BELIEVE US. We do not blow smoke just to pump people up. When people you trust complement you, rest assured you can believe them. It kind of goes hand in hand for adults when they get promoted to a new belt color. Almost everyone gets this imposter syndrome, like they don't deserve it. But if you look around the room and never questioned whether your teammates deserved the belts around their waist, why would you doubt it about yourself? For the record, I didn't let myself feel that imposter syndrome. With every belt promotion, it made we work harder so no one would question whether I deserved it.
Self doubt is such a killer of dreams, and some of the greatest leaders in life had those people behind them, giving them belief when they didn't have it themselves. When people you trust tell you something: believe them.
