A BJJ Journey of Loss, Resilience, and Finding a New Home
Ian’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu journey began in 2009, training between Canberra and Melbourne. Like many who first step onto the mats, he was immediately drawn to the discipline, challenge, and sense of community that BJJ provides. After a few years of dedicated training, he earned his blue belt in 2012 — a milestone that reflected both achievement and growth.
Life Pulls Him Away from the Mats
Over the following years, life reshuffled Ian’s priorities. Work commitments, raising a family, and eventually relocating to rural Queensland in 2018 made consistent training difficult. He tried to find a new club that felt like home, but nothing seemed to fit. Gradually, he experienced what many call the “blue belt blues” — a sense of disconnect, stagnation, and longing for the mats.
A Tragic Loss
In 2022, Ian’s life changed forever. His 12-year-old son, Kyan, tragically passed away in an accident on their property. The loss of a child brought an unimaginable weight of grief, affecting every aspect of his life — career, relationships, and personal well-being. Despite the devastation, Kyan left behind a lasting legacy. Ian and his family continue to honour him, including the online tribute #playforkyan, which captures a piece of his spirit for the world to see.
A Fresh Start on the Central Coast
By 2024, staying on the property in Queensland became too difficult. Ian and his family made the challenging decision to relocate to the NSW Central Coast, seeking a new environment to heal. Along with the move came a quiet question: Could Ian return to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu after seven years away?
Finding Support at Gracie Barra Central Coast
Reaching out to Marcela at Gracie Barra in Erina provided exactly what Ian needed. She offered reassurance, understanding, and support, creating a space where he could return to training as his authentic self — older, grieving, and uncertain.
Coach Victor greeted Ian on his first class back, offering a warm welcome that made a lasting impression. The inclusive, non-judgmental atmosphere of the gym helped him reconnect with BJJ in a meaningful way.
Healing Through Training
Over six months of consistent training, Ian has rediscovered joy and peace on the mats. For him, BJJ has become more than a martial art — it is a way to stay present, focus on technique, and move grief through the body instead of letting it linger.
One of the most meaningful aspects of returning has been training with Tony, a friend of 25 years. Their friendship has deepened through countless rolls, shared effort, and even a few bruised ribs, creating another layer of healing in Ian’s journey.
Carrying Grief and Rediscovering Strength
Returning to BJJ has not erased Ian’s grief, but it has given him a way to carry it. The practice has reminded him of his own strength, resilience, and the value of community. It has helped him reclaim a sense of self and continue rebuilding a life he never expected to live.
Gracie Barra Central Coast has played a pivotal role in this journey, demonstrating the transformative power of BJJ for students of all ages and life experiences.
